


Types of Comfort Part 1/2

by unluckyfairy13



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 07:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11031102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckyfairy13/pseuds/unluckyfairy13
Summary: The team takes notice the comfort Ray gives to Len when they think no ones paying attention. And Lisa witness her brother allowing someone to comfort him while also giving comfort in return.





	1. Good Company

**Author's Note:**

> I give you an advance sorry right now. I am a first time writer. This my first time writing fan fiction so please forgive me for bad edits or my bad writing. This is my contribution for ColdAtom week day one of comfort. I just had this idea that ended becoming this.Hope you can enjoy it. Also this is part one of a two part story that I will post the second part soon which will be the angst.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rip forgets someone. That someone gets mad and storms off. Ray tries to make things better. Which in turn starts something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am stuck on a long trip so to pass the time I am editing this a little. I am trying to not edit to much though so the story won’t really change. So I hope you like or still like the story.

 

> **_“Good company, good wine, good welcome. Can make good people.”_ **

 

Rip was trying and failing to get the team meeting in order to plan out their next mission. Though it wouldn't look like it right now. As currently all anyone seemed to be doing is arguing with one another. It wasn’t until they all heard a crash of something fall did they stop to look at what happened. It was Leonard that knocked Rip mug. Rip couldn’t help but give a little sad face, it was his mug, he really liked that one. Leonard didn't seem to care. Oh bullocks! Rip forgot to call Leonard for the meeting, in Rip defense it was hard to keep track of everyone. Leonard just stood there seemingly pissed off. Rip was expecting Leonard to say something but he stormed right out.

 _“Just leave him. He’ll come back when he wants to,”_ Mick grunted to the team. Much to Rip surprise or he guessed not, Ray soon followed Leonard. But before he went to far Rip was able to catch up with him.

 _“What are you doing?”_ Rip said with scowl on his face.

 _“I am going to get Snart back,”_ Ray said like it was the most obvious thing." _He needs to be here for team meetings. Or he might feel excluded.”_ Rip realized Ray had a point but he was pretty sure Leonard didn't want to be comforted by Ray. However before Rip could voice his opinion Ray already left. Rip guessed if Ray wasn't back in 20 minutes Leonard might have killed him. So when more than twenty minutes passed by Rip went to check on them.

* * *

 

As he got closer to Leonard's room and opened its door Rip couldn't help but find it a little odd seeing Ray and Leonard in the same room all alone. Leonard didn’t seem like he wanted to kill Ray...that much. Well he guess it wasn’t that odd considering they were starting to spend sometime together. However it was usually with the others around. But it wasn't like they were close as they were apart from each other as far as possible. With Leonard completely sprawled on his bed, being on one side of the room. With Ray on the complete opposite sitting in a chair.

They seemed to have been talking to each other in what seemed to be a civilized manner, that is until Rip guessed he rudely interrupted. Wait is that Rip’s 1890 wine bottle in Len’s hand. When did he get that he locked that away. Rip just stood there awkwardly, “ _When did you get my bottle? Do you know that was a gift from Queen Victoria herself after savings her husband.”_ Ray turned a little away from Rip getting a confusing look from him while a proud smirk formed on Leonard face.

Finally Leonard spoke, _“Like I said you stop the humming of that lullaby of yours for a week and you got yourself a deal.”_ Ray turned back to Leonard. Ray was thinking, Rip had no idea what was going on. After a couple of moments Ray reached out his hand.

 _”Deal.”_ Rip guessed Ray was waiting for Len to shake his hand to. Len just ignored it and stood up.

“ _Fine let's go already. It not like I have anything else to do in this ship.”_ Leonard walked in front of Rip, not even acknowledge him. Then he turned to Ray, _”Coming boy scout or not.”_ Ray just gave a big smile.

 _”_ _Yeah I am coming.”_ Both men walked past Rip. He saw Ray mouth come on. As the men walked the hall Ray spoke again, _"I don't hum it that often do I?"_  Ray had a look of concern. Leonard just kept walking.

"Yes _you do. At least when you think your alone. That's why you got to get better at detecting people Raymond."_

* * *

 

After that every time there was a team meeting Ray always brought Leonard along with him, Rip was fine with that. Along with making sure to hide his wine collection better though apparently not well enough as he found that either Leonard or Ray had one on hand when he ever found it was just them two.


	2. Pain Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len is in pain, Ray can't help. But it doesn't stop him from being there. Stein can’t help but think Len is a little lucky.

 

> **_“Sometimes, all you need is for someone just to be there, even if they can’t solve the problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can make all the difference.”_ **
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

The team’s recent battle was over but some were hurt. Although at the moment the main concern was Snart who just had collapsed. Once Gideon had finished scanning him it turned out that somehow during the battle Snart was dosed with a type of nerve drug that would cause a person to think they were in great pain. It would eventually pass but until it did Snart would believe he was in great physical pain. Which left Martin and Ray to try to find a cure or at least make something that would help lessen the pain. It wasn't easy with Snart trying but failing to not scream out loud. Eventually after hearing hours of his friend almost crying for someone to put him out of his misery Mick decided to leave. When Ray asked Mick why he told him he feared he would do it if he kept hearing Leonard say it so much.

* * *

It was eventually to much for Martin too and he had to go to another room if there was any chance for him to help Snart. He turned to Ray to tell him if he couldn't concentrate either he should go with him. As he saw Ray’s face full of sorrow every time he heard or saw Snart in pain. Ray simply shook his head.

 _“I can't leave him to deal with the pain alone,”_ Ray looked at Snart with a face full of concern. _“Besides I want him to know even if he's in pain someone's here for him.”_ With a sad smile Ray got up and went closer to Snart. Putting one of his hands onto Snart's head, checking his temperature while also making sure his restraint weren't hurting him, yes it had to come to that. It was to make sure Snart didn't hurt the others or worse himself.

Martin just nodded and hoped that Snart did feel at least some comfort knowing someone was there for him.

* * *

 

Finally after who knows how many hours Martin found a cure. He rushed to the medbay and when the doors opened he found quite a sight. Ray was still near Snart but now one of Snart’s hand was out of his restraint. Snart seemed a bit more calm but clearly still in pain. But what caught Martin attention was Snart was clawing, digging his nails into one of Ray’s arm so much that he was starting to bleed. Standing there not really understanding what he was seeing Ray called Martin.

 _"Did you find a cure,"_ Ray looked sleepy. He was asking if he found a cure making Martin remember why he came back in the first place.

 _“Ah yes! I found what I believe will help Mr. Snart get the drug out of his system.”_ Ray with a big smile which Martin didn't think was possible as Ray looked utterly exhausted.

 _“You hear that Snart it's almost over.”_ But when Martin tried to inject Snart he ended almost hit by him. It seemed Snart didn't want anyone near him, so Ray with a determined look in his eyes got the needle and tried to inject him. When Snart tried to resist Ray he yelled, _“Leonard this is for your own good! You're going to need to trust us.”_

With growl Snart almost shouted back, _“I don't trust him!”_ Martin tried to not take offense _._

 _”But you trust me don't you?”_ Ray said looking into his eyes, pleading Snart to let him help him. Snart gave in and let Ray inject him. Eventually exhaustion was catching up to Snart, Ray just kept combing his hand over Snart’s head. _”It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay, I am here. You’ll be okay,”_ Ray kept repeating slowly, softly over and over. He even started to hum his lullaby to Snart until he finally fell asleep.

Martin was relieved the cure worked and now just wanted to sleep to. He didn't even ask Ray if he was going to bed as Martin already knew Ray wasn't leaving Snart’s side now or any time soon. Later Martin went to check on Snart's condition. He found Snart still sleeping with Ray leaning a bit beside him sleeping as well.

 _“_ _Guess I better not disturb them.”_ Martin left again thinking two things. One what was the song Ray kept humming because it sounded familiar and two how Snart and Ray were able to sleep with having one of their hands intertwined with one another.


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jax and Len are unexpectedly stranded. They do some talking. Jax finds out that Len is desperate to go home but it isn't to the waverider.

> **_“You are my home; it is the loving gaze that I find comfort, acceptance, and the sense of belonging.”_ **

 

* * *

 

Jax has no idea what the hell just happened. And it sure isn’t helping looking at Snart’s face of complete dread to their current situation. Not just a couple of moments ago Jax and Snart were coming back from picking up some supplies when suddenly they just witnessed the waverider take off without them!

 

_“WHAT THE HELL!”_ Snart yelled which both surprised and scared Jax. Snart was known for keeping calm in any situation so for him to be in a sort of panic wasn’t exactly comforting for Jax in the least.

_“Don’t worry I am sure they’ll come back,”_ Jax said trying reassure Snart. _“Something must of happened for them to make a emergency escape. They have to come back for us, they wouldn’t just leave us behind, they wouldn’t leave without a reason.''_

_“So how long will we have to wait here. For how long!?”_ Snart said looking at Jax with a face full of panic. _” A couple of minutes, hours, days, months?”_ Snart was stepping closer and closer to Jax personal space until he was a couple of feet in front of him. Yep if Jax wasn't scared he was now. _“Don’t forget we once accidentally left a couple of our teammates for two years.”_

Jax just gulped, he was right, who knows how long they’ll have to wait for the others to come back. Snart now backed away and just looked at the empty sky. It was faint but Jax was sure he heard him.

_“We have to get back, I have to go home...I have to go to him.”_ Jax didn’t realize that Snart thought the waverider as home. He was guessing the him was Mick. But Mick can take care of himself.

* * *

 

Sometime had passed though rather slowly and it was almost becoming night time. The two decide it would be best to wait here for the night since this is the only place the team could possibly find. It was awkward silence between Jax and Len as both sat on the floor distance between them. Jax found some comfort with the fire they made but was kind of afraid to say anything as he feared it might make Len more agitated. As it became more dark Jax decided to hum a song.

_“Seriously even your starting to hum that dam song,”_ Len looked at Jax a little displeased. _“What it's the only thing I could think of hum right now.”_ Len arched an eyebrow at Jax.

_“Really Ray’s lullaby the only thing you could think of humming.”_  Jax recalled the times he heard it.

_"Well I hear Ray hum sometimes when he thinks he’s alone. And the way he hums it is kind of comforting don’t you think?” Much to Jax surprise_ Len gave a smile.

_”_ _Yeah it kind is. But you shouldn’t be intruding on_ Raymond," Len sounded concern, " _But t_ _hat idiot should become more self aware.”_ After that they didn’t say anything and once again there was silence between them. Jax saw Len tapping his left fingers on his knee clearly getting more agitated as more time passed.

_“You know Mick can take care of himself you don’t have to worry about him. Though I do get it being worried about your partner and all.”_ Len looked at Jax a little confused.

_“I know he can take of himself.”_ Jax was a little confused now too.

_“Then why did you say have to back to him. I thought him was Mick.”_ Len simply gave out a small sigh.

_“Mick is not the ‘him’ I am worried about.” “Then who is him?”_ before Len got to answer the waverider came back. Or more like crashed back, can they really never crash it.

It opened with some smoke coming out. Rip and Stein emerged out, _“I told you this is where they were left,”_ Stein said in a matter of fact kind of way to Rip.

_”_ _Fine you were right,”_ Rip said just rolling his eyes. Rip then looked at Jax and Snart _,”Come on then, get on board or do you plan on staying here.”_ Jax was relieved and was boarding the waverider when Snart just stood his place.

_“What the hell happened! Why did you guys leave?”_  Snart was fuming and Jax was kind of happy he wasn’t the one to leave him behind. _“Well you see, what had happened was that Ray was doing some system check ups. And he accidentally activated the emergency_ escape.” Len then gave movement of silnce.

_“So this is all Raymond's fault then,”_ Snart hissed. Rip just nodded and before anyone knew it Snart rushed into the waverider pass them. Everyone presuming he was now searching for Raymond. Jax didn’t want Ray to face Snart’s wrath alone so he followed in case something were to happen. Hearing Stein and Rip there was no need for Jax to go check on them. Saying they doubt Leonard would hurt Ray.

* * *

 

Jax found the room Snart entered and was at the edge of the door. In the room he could see it was just Snart and Ray, it already seemed they were already having a fight.

_“Do you have any idea what you did!”_ Ray stood up and backed away from him.

_“ Look Leonard I am sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you or Jax behind. I was careless, it won’t happen again.”_ Snart was now poking at Ray’s chest.

_”Yeah it better not! I thought I almost lost my home. You know the waverider is the only place that I’ve stayed the longest at. The only place I’ve got! You made me think that my home was being taken from me again. You guys left us, I thought...”_ Snart voice was breaking, _“that you guys left me, that you left me._ ” Snart was now visibly shaking, tears seemed to threaten to leave his eyes. Ray immediately went up to hug Snart, he didn't hug back but Snart  allowed himself to sink into Ray, his warmth.

_”I am so sorry Leonard. I didn't mean..I’ve never meant to make you feel like that. I would never leave you like that.”_ Ray just held Snart until he hugged him back. Snart just looked at Ray and softly whispered.

  _“I was so afraid. I was so afraid that I was going to lose my home.”_  Ray pulled away from their hug but both still held each other. Ray gently cupped both of Len’s checks.

_“Don’t worry  Leonard as long as I am here I’ll always make sure you have a home to come back to.”_

As Jax looked on he couldn't help but think a bit about his home, then thinking about his mom being there. Another thought also came to mind on how people have different definition of home and how it's not always a place. After some moments of silence and gazing at each other Ray spoke again.

_“By the way where is Jax?”_  That brought both Leonard and Ajax attention to Ray.

_“Oh right I left him behind with Stein and Rip. I think I practically scared the kid.”_  Jax nodded even though part of him knew they couldn’t see him. Ray now had a look of concern.

“Really _how?”_

_“Let's just say I wasn't exactly in the best mood given our situation and I might of taken it out on the poor kid.”_

_“Well you know you’re going to have to apologize.”_ Snart just rolled his eyes.

  _“Fine but you're going to apologize to. You did leave him stranded to you know.”_ Ray gave a shy smile and nodded.

  _“You're right I should. We both should so let's go find him.”_ And that was Jax cue to leave as he was sure that Snart would be pissed if he found out someone was spying on his and Ray intimate moment.


	4. Past & Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the team Sara at times forgets who she used to be though she isn't the only one. So it just sucks when they're reminded of that.

> **_“I can’t fix you any more than I can make you. But I can hold your hand while you mend yourself. I can be the bullet you bite when the hurt becomes too much and I can be that joke that makes you laugh once again after it passes. I can’t fix you. But I can be the remedies that help ease the pain.”_**
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

At times it was easy for Sara to forget, forget the horrible things she's done and the pain she had caused. Was it because she was surrounded by close friends that were like family that she forgot her monsters. Is that when she forgot. She guess she got lullabied by the team into believing because she was doing good now her past sins were long gone along with the monsters. It was a good lullaby they put her into almost as good a the lullaby she hears Ray hum when he thinks he’s alone.

She really needs to teach him to be more self aware though the way she hears it Leonard wants to be the one to teach him. Speaking of which it seems she wasn’t the only one who might of thought their past was long gone, partially a couple of criminals. Oh what fools they were for that silly little thought as the past may have gone by but it certainly was not forgotten or what is they’re capable of. Now it seems for one them, Leonard to be precise was learning that fact first hand.

* * *

 

The team had just done an excellent job on their last mission as everything went for once according to plan. And Ray wanted to celebrate that. According to him, _“We should celebrate victories big or small. Especially when we get rare occasion where nothing goes wrong.”_ He said with such glee and happiness there was no way Sara eye could say no. And it seemed the rest couldn’t either. Plus even if they didn’t want to go she had a feeling Leonard would have made them go anyway. As any sign of protest got an immediate death glare from him.

So here they were all at Saints & Sinners bar. Ray let Leonard pick the time and place since he realized that Leonard might of helped convince everyone to celebrate. Surprisingly everyone was actually having a good time. Even Rip and Martin that were at first hesitant were enjoying themselves with Sara by having a drinking contest. How they got to that moment Sara isn’t exactly sure. Though by the end of it both men were drunk mess with Sara claimed as the victor.

To bad that moment of happiness kind went to hell the moment a couple of what Sara can only describe babyface, wanna be criminals that were clearly drunk came up to their group of Leonard, Mick and herself. Ray went to get some more drinks while Jax tried to care of passed out Martin and Rip.

 _“Hey don’t I know you from somewhere?”_ one of them pointed at Leonard.

 _“No don’t think so,”_ Leonard said clearly not interested in talking to them and wanted them to leave him alone. He even gave Mick a signal to look intimidating along with him. Sara thinks it was probably due to Ray would be coming back to them with their drinks. Leonard didn’t want anyone to ruin the good mood they had going especially Ray’s. One of men seemed to get the message that Leonard didn’t want to be distrube.

 _“_ _Chill dude lets just go. It's cool man we’ll just go.”_ The guy then snapped his fingers and pointed.

 _“_ _Cool that it!”_ Damn it Sara thought, the guy figured it out. She saw Leonard flinch a little as he realized it to.

 _“That's right your Captain Cold the criminal. You’re the one that iced you father like literally.”_ They all heard glass fall and turned to see Ray had dropped all their drinks.

 _“Uh sorry,”_ Ray said in a meek, low voice and started to pick up the glass. Leonard looked horrified and stood up to go help Ray when that guy suddenly grabbed Leonard.

 _“_ _No worries man your fear totally understandable. To be in the presence of Captain Cold is both awesome and terrifying.”_ Leonard pulled away from him but that didn’t stop the guy from talking. He walked over to Ray who was still squatting trying to pick up the broken pieces.  _“I mean this guy has done some pretty bad things. Like uhm killed a person just to test the flash’s speed and cold gun.” “Shut up!”_ but Leonard wasn’t even looking at him just a Ray _. Nearly killed a train full of people to escape.”_

Sara saw Ray’s face look more horrified and Leonard notice.

 _”I mean I hear you even killed people on your team, partners.”_  After saying that he placed a hand on Ray's shoulder. He flinched. That was clearly the last straw as Leonard turned to the guy and pointed his cold gun at the guy.

 _”I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!”_ It seemed the guy finally realized his situation and  everyone just froze. Leonard looked ready to shoot the guy when out of nowhere Raymond stood in front of the guy shielding him.

_“What are you doing boy scout get out of the way!”_

_“No! Not until you put your cold gun away.”_

_"Raymond move,”_ Leonard now looked more hesitant.

 _“Len no. Put it down you’re better than this,”_ Ray said now approaching Len.

 _“Yeah well maybe I am not!”_ Leonard was now backing away from Ray but Ray kept coming closer. _“Yes you are! Don’t forget you’re a hero now. You are a LEGEND NOW.” R_ ay finally reached Len’s hands, slowly lowered them and the cold gun down. Ray just held them until. 

 _”He’s no hero let alone a legend,”_ that stupid guy really didn’t know when to shut up. Ray just gave a polite smile to Len and one of his hand let go of Len’s. Then Ray turned around and punched the guy on the face so hard and fast he fell to the floor.

 _“Yes he is and I’ll fight anyone who says he isn’t.”_ Right after that Ray grabbed Leonard and ran out the bar. Sara turned to Mick.

“ _I’ll get them. Watch the team.” “Just leave those two. Ray will bring Len back.”_ Though Sara had already left.

* * *

 

Sara realized they didn't go far as she spotted them a couple blocks away in an alleyway. She was about to make her presence know when much to her surprise she saw Ray pin Leonard to the wall.

 _“Len what were you thinking pulling a stunt like that.”_ Ray held both his arms on Len’s side to make sure he wouldn’t leave.

 _“I don’t know,”_ Len said just closing his eyes seemingly trying to process what is he done. _“_

_What do you mean you don’t know.”_

_“I mean I don’t know Raymond! I don’t know why did what I did. We can’t all be perfect like you are,”_ Len said now looking Ray in the eyes. Ray looked a little hurt by those words. Sara recalls that although Ray never says it he hates to be called perfect, Leonard knows this. He appears to regret his words immediately,  _“You know maybe I just acting like the criminal, the monster that I know I am.”_ Len now shoved Ray’s hands away and started to walk off.

Though not to far before Ray got his shoulders and spined him around towards himself.

 _“Raymond what are you..,”_ but before Len could finish Ray put both their foreheads together. Sara had no idea what the heck Ray was up to and by the looks of it neither did Len. Ray just had his eyes closed while Len just stared up with both their foreheads still touching, Ray rested his hands on Len's shoulders. Ray seemed to be in deep thought and then gave a small sigh, looked at Len and gave a small smile.

_“Hi.”_

_“Hello?”_ Len said a little hesitantly.

 _”Len can I ask you something.”_ It looked Ray wasn’t giving up so Len just answered.

 _“Sure?”_  Point blank.

“Do _you think I could ever be a villain like you?”_ Len froze up at the question he was just asked. Then after a couple moments of silence Len answered.

“What  _stupid thing are you saying now.”_  Len looked clearly upset but Ray just remained calm.

 _“I am asking do you think I could ever be a villain like you?”_ This time Len answered quickly.

_“No. Never in a million years would you ever be like me.”_

_“See I think that you’re wrong.”_

_“No you would never be capable of doing the things I’ve done.”_

_“Nope. I think I am capable. I think when push comes to shove I think I can be capable doing bad things. Because people are capable of doing almost anything.”_ Len stepped back a little shaking his head. 

 _“I would never let that happen.”_ Ray stepped closer. 

_“Why?”_

_“Because I would…”_

_“What protect me. Save me. I thought criminals or monster weren't capable of that.”_

_“What are you getting at Raymond?”_

_“What I am saying Leonard Snart, Captain Cold, is that if you did in fact save me that would make you my hero. Not a monster.”_ Len let those words sink in he could be Ray’s hero. That he could be something more but there was still a voice in his head telling him he couldn’t.

_“Look Raymond I get what you’re trying to do.”_

_“What am I trying to do,”_ Ray tried to act clueless.

_“You’re trying to convince me I am a hero that's what.”_

_“And if I am.”_

_“_ _It won’t work. You’ve heard what I’ve done in the past I am no hero.”_

_“_ _Yes I heard what you’ve done in the past I am not naive. Although I know that some of the reason why you did what you did was to survive. You made decisions to insure that you and your sister survived from a horrible and impossible situ_ _ation that no kids should go through,”_ Ray gave Leonard small smile, _“I’ve witnessed you do great things. I have witnessed you change to help others not just yourself. I know you have a past  but guess what everyone does Len. But I just don’t want you to forget what it is you’ve doing now, what good you're capable of.”_ Ray now cupped Len’s checks in his hands. _“The person I am looking at right now. The person you thought wasn’t capable of doing anything good has become something great. Look it’s good that you recognize you’re past actions weren’t good ones but it’s the past and despite having a time ship we can’t change it. Still all the more reason for you to try to make your future all that much different from it. By making it a better one. ”_

 _“And what if I become like I was before,”_ Len began to shake and lean against the wall covering his face, _“What if I become like I was before I meet the team, before I meet you?”_ Ray immediately went to him and gently removed Len hands holding them.

 _“Then I guess I’ll have to be here to remind you the good you’re capable of when you’re about to do something bad. That is until you can do so for yourself until then I’ll be your personal jiminy cricket.”_ Ray gave off a goofy smile and Len just hugged him. Len buried his face in Ray.

 _“Honestly Raymond you're too good me at times. You should be careful of that.You know you shouldn't be too kind to people like me. It might give of the wrong idea that it means more.”_ Ray backed away a little.

 _“Wait are you implying that I come as a flirt.”_ Len reached  a hand out.

 _“I knew it you don’t really know the effect you have do you.”_ Both grew silent, to Sara it seemed that both men were having a private conversation within their own heads.

“ _Come on we should head back to the others,”_ Len reached out to hold Ray’s. As they were walking back Sara couldn’t help notice that Ray and Leonard were still holding hands. She guessed they really didn’t notice they still were or didn’t care. Either way Sara wasn’t going to point it out or say anything if they didn’t either.

Walking back she couldn’t help but think that yes maybe sometimes their past will come back a haunt them from time to time. But as long as they have their friends, family, someone to find comfort in and hold onto to remind them they are capable of being better. Can become better then maybe they could remember the past and not have it hurt so much.


	5. Holding Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People may think Mick doesn't notice the little things but he does. So how could Snart be dumb to think Mick wouldn't notice what was going on.

> **_“Holding hands is a promise to one another that just for a moment, the two of you don’t have to face the world alone.”_ **
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

Mick was ready to hear the earful Len was about to get as soon as they stepped into the waverider. And sure enough he did, _“Len what the hell were you thinking making a choice like that.”_ Len wasn’t really in the mood to listen to Ray after all he was also doubting his choice even though he knew it was the right call to make. Sarah and Mick just stood there awkwardly not knowing if they should leave or make sure nothing too bad would happen.

_“Don’t care what you think. I made the call deal with it,”_ Len began to walk away.

_“Len you had us to help you weren’t alone. Were not done with this conversation. Get back here!”_

_“Yeah well I am done with it.”_  Mick just headed to his room and sat down and thought about the whole mission. How it went all down, he kept thinking about it until he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Mick heard a knock on his door. He realized he was asleep for awhile now another knock, “ _Come in.”_ Len came in. 

_“Hey Mick I brought you some food. It's your favorite mostly meat.”_ Mick was a little confused.

_“Shouldn’t you be comforting arms of haircut or something not here with me?”_ Len had a confused look 

_“Why does everyone keep telling me that? Raymond probably somewhere humming that damn lullaby of his.”_ Mick reached out for his food.

_“Well you're usually go to him or he goes to you when you're in a mood.Thought you would want him to calm you down after what happened.”_ Mick began to chew on his food, _“Plus you two are together right? I mean I hear you two screw around late at night.”_ Len looked a little surprised but only showed a little bit. Then put his face into one that looked like one that didn’t care.

_“You know about that.”_

_“Yeah well these wall might be made from the future but they aren’t well built for the noise.”_

_“So much for progress,”_ Len said snarky.

_“Again why are you here. Why aren’t you with haircut at this moment.”_

_“_ _Cause right now I need some space from him. I need to be alone”_

_“Really.”_ Len replied quickly.

_“Yeah really.”_ Mick studied Len a bit and noticed something. Len was shaking his left hand a little bit. One might not notice if they didn’t know Len but it was often a sign that he was nervous or scared.

_“Ah that's why you're here. Pretty boy is looking for you. You’re hopping if he finds you in here with me he won’t talk. That he’s going to leave you alone and not give you an earful for what you did earlier.”_

_“You’re smart Mick. But you got one thing wrong.”_ Mick looked point blank at Len.

_“You almost died again. He  was right you know, you aren’t alone we could of helped you.”_ Len looked away for a bit.

_“Almost but I didn't.”_

_“You almost sound like haircut with his stupid death wish of dying like a hero.”_ Len turned to Mick again with a sad smile.

  _“I’ve been hanging out too much with that boy scout.”_

_“_ _He’s worried about you,”_ Mick said in the most serious tone he could muster.

_“_ _Doubt he really cares too much though. Like I said you got something wrong.”_ Len leaned against the doorway, Mick leaned more back to his chair. _“_

_Which is what exactly.“_ Len looked at the floor then back at Mick.

_“We are sleeping together but we aren’t in any kind of relationship I’ve made that pretty clear.”_ Mick respond quickly. 

_“_ _You’re stupid then. And if it’s nothing but meaningless fling then why are you sure he’s looking for you?”_ Len widen his eyes a little like he hadn’t even thought Ray wouldn’t look for him. There was silence.

“ _Cause he’s an idiot.”_ Len said with a poker face. _“Love makes people makes people do stupid things."_ Mick was starting to get tired of this.

_"Like loving someone that might be difficult to love.”_ Len just rolled his eyes.

_“Like me?”_

_“Both of you are. One that doesn’t think he deserve to be loved while the other gives all his love for other idiot but leaves none for himself. You two should be careful. You guys might end up as a tragedy.”_

_“Not funny.”_ Len began to exist Mick room.

  _“Like I said be careful.”_

* * *

 

After a while the team was called to have another team meeting. Rip was about to start but before he could Ray raised his hand. Everyone looked at him questionably.

_“Yes what is it Mr. Palmer.”_

_"Nothing it's just that due to recent events,”_ everyone looked at Len, _“I just wanted to say that I really value you guys being here. And I am happy you're here. Because not matter what I know I am happier knowing you all and I hope you guys know that you could depend on me to not feel alone.”_ There was a moment of silence and then Rip spoke again.

_“Well thank you for that Mr. Palmer... Is that all?”_

_“Yeah that's all.”_ The meeting then started and it dragged on as the team either argued with one another or simply got off topic. Mick noticed somewhere down the line in all this chaos Len had moved closer to Ray who was sort away from everyone. Mick noticed Len say something to Ray but couldn’t hear. Ray said something which again he couldn’t hear. But again Mick noticed Len’s left hand shake a little that is until he saw Ray reached out and took a hold of it. Instead of rejecting the comfort that Mick sees Len often do with others he didn't. Len just held Ray’s hand back and by the looks of tighter. No one else seemed to notice. Mick couldn’t help but hope he was wrong about the whole tragedy those two would face and every thing would be okay. Just okay. After all when you have partner around you can't but feel like you can face the world a little more.


	6. The Perfect Imperfect Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa and Len find the value of their relationship. While also finding value in the relationship they have with others.

 

> **_“It's not about having a perfect relationship but it’s finding someone who watches you and will go through everything  without giving up.”_ **

* * *

 

Lisa saw Len just pacing back forth while a guy she guess was Raymond was sitting down looking at him pace. Len must be trying to figure out how it is he got into his current situation. Then she saw him stop. It seemed he figured something out, he turned to Ray and began to explain what it is that just happened.

How before they left Central City after the whole bar incident Len realized that his baby sister didn’t know he was back from dead. He wanted to make sure she was okay, to know he was okay now. So him and Mick decide to find her and brought her to the waverider. It was a happy moment. But when he told her that he would continue to be on the waverider she lost it. And started to yell that Len came back only just to leave her again. Len then tried to explain himself but in the end the conversation just ended with the both yelling back and forth until Len just stormed off. Mick stayed back with her in Len’s room to make sure she was okay and make sure she didn’t leave. After reluctantly promising she wouldn’t Mick left to check on something.

Lisa got tired of waiting and tried to leave but got lost. Until she stumbled upon a room where she saw her brother. She figured he was going to talk about her, she wanted to hear what he says about her when she isn’t around. So she hid and heard Len and Ray conversion.

* * *

 

 _”You know you’re going to have to talk it out with her,”_ Ray said after Len finished explaining the situation at hand.

 _“She doesn’t listen, didn’t you just listen to what I said. Every time she doesn’t get her way she acts up,”_ Len said now crossing his arms around himself, looking at the floor where Ray was sitting at.

 _”Yes but you’re the one that stormed off not her,”_ Ray responded back just starting Len. Nice to know Ray wasn't all on her brother's sids. After staring at each other for a while Len just sighed and sat next to Ray. Len didn’t even look at Ray as he put his head on his shoulder.

 _“_ _You have a point I guess. So what should I do then?”_ Len just looked at their hands as he entwined his left hand with Ray’s right.

_”Do you want me to be honest.”_

_“Aren’t you always. I mean that what I can always count on besides you being a pretty boy.”_

_“Flattery will get you no where. But its good to hear. Anyway sh_ _e has a point.”_

_“What do you mean? Thought you be on the side of me staying here with you guys.”_

_“_ _I am.”_

_“Then?”_

_”Listen to her you just got back from being dead.And now you’re leaving her again. Its hurting her to be the one left behind. I understand that.”_ Now Ray was the one looking away _.”It hurts to be the one to be left behind...”_ Len didn’t know what to say to that all he could was hold Ray’s hand a little tighter.

Finally Ray turned back to Len though his head was still resting on Ray’s shoulder.

 _“Just listen to her and understand where she’s coming from. That’s all I got really.”_ Len finally lifted his head and faced Ray still not letting go of their hands.

 _“Really?”_ Ray ran his hand over Len’s head. 

_“Yes really. Len I am glad you find comfort in me but I can’t always help you even if I wanted to. I don’t really have a clue on how to deal with family or siblings that fight. You have to figure things out yourself sometimes. But if you want I'll go with you to talk to Lisa so you guys don't fight again. I know how complicated and hard you guys can be.”_

_“ I just don’t want to mess up the only good family relationship I have. I don’t want to screw her up like our dad did to us. I mean what if I turn out like my dad. My family hasn't exactly shown to be good at taking care of one another.”_ Len gave pause, _“Maybe I should have never even told her I was alive in the first place. She would of been better of thinking I was dead.”_ As soon as Len said those words Lisa sank to the floor. How could he say that, that she was better off without him. He said he would always look out for her, always. She looked back and saw that Ray let go of Len’s hand and stood up.

 _“Len don’t you even say that. Strong bonds like yours shouldn’t be cut down.”_ Lisa saw that Ray had a very angry expression. _“Why it's the truth. I’ll just give her an amnesia pill and she’ll forget we even had this fight.”_ Ray’s voice was more stern this time, _“Just talk to her.”_ This time Len stood up.

  _“No.”_

 _“Why not!”_ Both Lisa and Len got a little scared that Ray raised his voice, _“You’re here, she’s here. You’re both here you can talk it out. You both get a second chance to be together and just talk to one another. Do you know how lucky that is? To talk to someone that you thought you would never be able to talk again. I know you think that all you do is cause pain to the ones you love but trust me it hurts way more if you leave things like this. Fighting one another like you don’t care but you both of you clearly care if you're hurting like this.”_ Len looked a little taken back to be talked to like that. Still he tried to compose himself.

 _“Raymond someone like you can’t possibly understand complicated relationships like this. Ones of sacrifice for others. You were rich and probably had a good happy home where everyone got along and no one ever fought. Well sorry some of us weren’t so lucky.”_ Len began to walk away, Lisa was getting ready to run. No way was she allowing Len taking away the memory of being told he was alive. Not when she felt like she was breathing again after drowning in her teas. Then she heard Ray speak. Ray just faced the wall.

" _You know I envy your relationships you have with your family and friends too. Your lucky like that and you should value them.”_ Len didn’t even look back but in a sarcastic voice he responded. 

 _“Yeah I really value the relationship I had with my father.”_ Len turned around but Ray still faced the wall, he gave a chuckle.

“ _Maybe not that one but at_ _least in the end you got him back at him for the things he’s done.”_ Ray gave an eerie pause, _“Unlike me, I never got the chance. My father is dead. He made dirty deals and cheated good honest people out of their money. He cheated on his wife who by the way isn’t even my mom.”_ Lisa saw Ray lower his shoulder, _“No, my mom was a poor naive woman who barely turned 18 years old when my father meet her. She had no one to look after her and my father took advantage of that. He promised her the world. He told her all he would make her life better, told her he loved her and one day he would leave his wife. But when she became pregnant with me and my brother he was already telling her to give us up or simply threaten her.”_

As Ray said that Lisa couldn’t help but notice how serious her brother face looked but there was something else there. Ray picked up a sarcastic voice, “ _Luckily for her or unlucky I could never decide, his wife found out. She didn’t want the scandal or simply wanted to repair an already broken relationship. She threaten to leave my father and take all his money unless my mom gave us to them. So they would be one big happy perfect family. They even let her be our nanny on the condition that she never tell anyone or us she was our actual mother.”_ Len took some steps forward.

 _“Raymond stop.”_ That’s what is was he felt a mix of saddens, concern and anguish. Lisa had it to, Ray continued.

 _“To bad for my father’s wife she was wrong. He still left a lot, still ignored her and us. He still cheated. His wife just gave more into the alcohol and god have mercy if she spotted me or my brother because she would blame us for him not being around since we weren’t good perfect kids. We believed her we thought she was our mom how could she lie. So we took her ‘lessons’ on how to be good and if we weren’t pay the price.”_ When Ray said those words of being good or pay a price both her and Len automatically held themselves as if protecting from themselves from something that they felt was coming but now was never going to happen. After all their father was long gone to.

 _“My father just ignored us, what was done to us or even we called for help. My mom actually tried to protect us, even tried to be there and comfort his wife. But even she got punished if she did something out of line. Eventually after seven years of this I guess my mom got tired of it and tried to actually kidnapped us though she only managed to knappe me._ ” Ray’s sounded a bit happy _, “I was so grateful to be out of that house,”_ his voice changed to a sad one, _“But I didn’t even think about my poor brother and what he would have to deal with all alone. I was just happy to be on the run with her.”_ Len began to again walk closer to Ray.

 _“Though with my luck it didn’t last long. We got in a car accident, they figured out who she was, who I was and called my family. Before they got there though I wanted to see her one last time to say goodbye. She was dying so she told me the whole truth. I told her I knew. She asked how.”_ Ray gave a small sad chuckle, “ _I told her I was smart and it didn’t make sense to me that two blonds had a black haired childern. She smiled and laughed. She made me promise never to tell my brother the truth, I wouldn’t. I also wouldn’t leave her alone and laid next to her. She simply sang me my lullaby that she said her mother sang to her but that she changed to suit it for me. They did at least let her name one of us.”_ Len was finally close enough that he reached out a hand and placed it on Ray’s shoulder.

 _“She died, I went back home. I guessed my dad blamed his wife because the police were getting to close to know what he was doing. After that she wouldn’t let me be with anyone but her, she let my brother free to do whatever he wanted while I had to deal with her. Guess that’s the price I had to deal with after all I left him behind, no sibling should leave another to suffer. I still can’t tell if it got better or worse when they found out I was kind of genius. My dad finally took an interest in me, his wife thought he took an interest in us as a family. His wife clung onto me more like if I was saving her from a lonely existence. I ended up comforting her a lot. They didn’t want any bad influence on me so they isolated me more from people even my brother. At one point they didn't even want themselves to be a bad influence so they left me alone to.I hardly ever saw my brother or talked to him but I remember he once told me he hated how I was everyone's favorite, that I was the good perfect child. Later as a teenager he thanked me for taking all their expectation away from him so he was free to do what he wanted so he had no reason to change things. I don’t know how maybe he figured it out or someone pointed it out to him but he found out about our mom. He told me he hated me again and I killed her because she picked me. I accepted it. I thought that was going to be life until they found out something they didn’t like.”_ Len took a hold of Ray and turned him around. Lisa already knew it but kind wished she was wrong. Len looked like he regretted turning Ray around. Ray had tears falling down.

He gave Len a weak smile, “I _kissed boy and liked it, they didn’t. My father paid him off to leave me he took the offer. My father told me to never do that again or be disowned by him. I saw my chance and I was happy. I changed my last name to my actual mom’s last name Palmer. I left and never looked back. I found out he died years ago, I cried for him.”_

Len tried to wipe away Ray’s tears but they wouldn’t stop. Len gave up and simply hugged Ray, he hugged back. With a soft voice Ray began to speak again, _“Len talk to her. She’s here. Tell you love her cause I know you do. You don’t get to choose where or to who you're born to so you might not get along with them. But you two have been through to much to end like this. You are the lucky ones that even though you had a hard life you weren’t alone. And as bad as this might sound and I know that you wish for your sister to never go through what you guys did at least you two had each other. I think both of you were at least happy not to have to go through that alone. Value that kind relationship that got you through so much but still manage to stick together.”_ Len began to rub Ray’s back.

_“I will I promise I will.”_

_“Good.”_ After that both stayed silent. Len rested his head on Ray's shoulder. Lisa heard Len humming a song to Ray.

* * *

 

Lisa started to walk back to her brother’s room as she did she saw Mick coming out.

 _“Hey I’ve been looking for...are you crying? Who made you cry, did Len make you cry cause if he did I burn him.”_ Lisa smiled and began to wipe away her tears.

 _“No we haven’t talked yet. But uhm I think we will now. I’ll just wait in his room.”_ Mick looked confused but just shrugged.

" _Okay then. I’ll look for Len and see if he wants to talk.”_

 _“_ _Wait before you go two things I wanna say. Is Raymond a good person?”_

 _“You mean haircut. Yeah I guess he is. He's really those hero types that actually does good things out of kindness,”_ Lisa gave a big smile. _“What’s the second thing?”_

 _“Nothing just thank you for being a good friend to Len and me. I really appreciate the things you’ve done for us.”_ Mick stayed quiet for a bit.

 _“Don’t know why you're saying that there no need to. I’ve got your guys backs hope you got mine. But you're welcome.”_ Mick began to leave when Lisa remembered something.

 _“Oh and don’t forget to knock before you enter any room Len in.”_ Lisa saw a couple of the team members in the hall and turn a little red. Mick just waved back at her.

 _“I’ve learned my lesson the last time. Don’t have to tell me twice.”_ As she lay on Len’s bed she started get nervous so she began to hum Ray’s lullaby, it calmed her. She would have to figure out how to ask Len what's the song was without letting him know she heard him. It sounded familiar. It sounded comforting and safe like when ever her brother was just there for her. Yup she was definitely going to find that lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it for the comfort part of ColdAtom week. If you stuck around through all this I hope you stick around for the angst that's coming up for Part 2. Which will answer what lullaby Ray has been humming this whole time. Hope you read it. ( ･ω･)ﾉ


End file.
